the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
