I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
