uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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