It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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