Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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