susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
