he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
