Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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