Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
