I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
is that a dick in a sweater?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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