she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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