How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
