yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Are we still banned from the library?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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