So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
