I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I love you.
Bad choice
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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