Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
