yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
