Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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