I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
