You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
