I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
