I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
