i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
