I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
