Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
