Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Terrible idea I love it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
