i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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