i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there was a trapeze. enough said
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
