It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
