the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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