my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
