Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
