I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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