She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All the doctor said was why
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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