Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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