i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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