I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
