Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
