do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I died a long time ago.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
