Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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