So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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