Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
