You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
