Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
