operation harelip BJ is a go
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
