I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
