btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
