it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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