What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
