The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
